Family Motherhood

Becoming a Stay at Home Mom

October 7, 2020

I never thought (or if I’m honest, even desired) to be a stay at home mom.

Growing up I always thought of myself as a an independent, take-charge, feminist, ready to stand up to any man and take on any challenge! I wanted to break glass ceilings and shatter stereotypes. All the women in my family worked full-time outside the home, and as far as I knew, they always had. (I didn’t realize at the time they had almost all stayed home when their kids were little.) So I just assumed that I would have a full-time job as well. Even when I got pregnant with my son, Maddox, I fully planned to return to teaching after a short maternity leave.

Josh brought up the idea of me staying home, but I quickly shot it down. I considered us a non-traditional couple who shared roles and split everything. I hung pictures, he did laundry, I built things, and he cleaned WAY better than I did.

To be completely honest, I had a terrible perception of being a stay at home mom. I thought of SAHMs as some 1950’s stereotype woman who’s only aspiration was to be a stay at home wife and mother. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but it wasn’t what I had envisioned for myself. I was a “career women.”

Then when Maddox was 4 months old, as I was preparing to return to work, it all hit me at once and I called my mom bawling! I realized I had completely changed my mind about everything! I couldn’t imagine leaving him for an hour, never less a full day! It was then I knew I wanted/needed to be a stay at home mom. It took another year with Maddox in day care before I was able to make it happen, but I am beyond greatful that I have the ability to stay home now!

It took me a while to admit I wanted to stay home and even longer for me to tell others. I don’t know why I felt that way, but I did. I feel extremely lucky that Josh’s job makes it possible for me to stay at home for now.  I plan to return to work when they are older, but for now, being a stay at home mom is exactly the right thing for me and for my family. I know moms who work outside the home, moms who work inside the home, and moms who stay home with their kids. I feel so lucky to be able to stay home and there’s no place I’d rather be. I never thought I would be a stay at home mom, but now that I am, I can’t imagine doing anything else!

Did anyone else have weird feelings about staying home? Like it wasn’t “good enough” in some way? I’d love to hear how other SAHM felt about their decision to stay home.

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